Barsaat and Sahil

I have been quite a model procrastinator when it comes to blogging about my classroom experiences as a Teach for India fellow. It's been 3 months now and I feel that I now know a lot more about my 62 kids, fellow teachers and school. This incident happened within my first month of teaching.

It was the month of August and this time in Mumbai, one would count himself to be lucky if it's not raining. We (Anish: my co-teacher and I) had held up a few kids after school for extra instruction time. Sahil was one of them. After the class, we waited till all the kids leave the school. However, Sahil insisted that on leaving with us and since his house is a little further away, we should drop him near the exit of our community. During our walk back, I tried to ask him about his thoughts on the new class, new Bhaiyas and studies. He pauses and looks at me with his wide, bright eyes. Then he asks hopefully - 'Bhaiya, I speak Hindi?' 
I refuse and encourage him to try in English. He must have been disappointed. He thinks for a minute and blurts out in Hindi anyway - 'Bhaiya, mujhe English padna nahin aata hai (Bhaiya, I can't read English).'
This gutsy and straightforward admission hit me hard. Really hard. Here we were, asking our class to speak in English. Giving them pages of text to read, interpret and form opinions on and Sahil can't even read. How must he be feeling in the classroom? *

Then, as it always happens in Mumbai, it started pouring heavily. There was only one umbrella between Sahil and me, which was mine. In Mumbai rains, one umbrella is not sufficient to protect even one person, forget two with bags on them. I had important things in my bag which I did not want to get wet. Neither did I want Sahil to get wet. So I instructed Sahil to be under my umbrella. We were navigating a narrow street lined with shops and hawkers, full of water puddles and people rushing by. We tried to avoid all these obstacles while staying under the umbrella.
Once in a while, someone would come in the way and we would get separated. Then I would wait and Sahil would rush to get under my umbrella. Then we would move again. Whenever, I saw a puddle or a hawker, my primary instinct was to avoid it by jumping left or right and at times, I forgot about Sahil. Once, I jumped to the left and walked along the shop while Sahil went ahead. Later he stood in the middle of the road in the crowd and looked around, his eyes searching for me. When I reappeared a moment later with the umbrella over him, he says to me with surprise and indignation - 'Bhaiya, where you go?'
I was amused but also became aware that I had to be beside him. The rest of the walk saw a gradual shift in my instinct from being protective about me to being protective about him. Holding the umbrella over him when he would drift away while getting drenched myself. It must have been quite an image - The two of us making do with one umbrella, dodging the hindrances and walking in rain. A Chopin piece could be composed on that walk.

Turns out that all of us were drenched by the time we reached his house (we had decided to drop him to his house obviously). Our first community visit and were we welcomed! Despite our protests, we were made to sit on their dry bed and drink tea while we discussed school and life.

* Since then, we have realized that we were fairly wrong in our estimates about the level of our students. After 2 units and conducting their reading tests, we realize that they are just beginning to learn English and we had been teaching them fairly high-level stuff. In fact, the students in my school can't read any language. A year back before Teach for India fellows, even the students in our class couldn't read anything. Sometime back, I had asked a kid from 5th standard, who had been held up after school to complete his homework, to read a sentence from the pages of text that he had been copying blindly. He couldn't read the word 'number' or anything more than 3 letters. I was shaken. How are students spending 6-7 years in school without learning to read? What are the teachers doing? What is wrong with the system and why does it not focus on student learning?
India needs to invest heavily in good teachers and teacher training. All kinds of technology and gizmos will not enable the student to combine letters to form words and make sense of them. We need teachers. An article in the same vein about the new 'Akash' laptop by Atanu Dey.
http://www.indianexpress.com/news/swiping-without-reading/857206/0

Visit to Chail

As I stumbled sleepily out of bed on a holiday morning, my parents announce that we are visiting Chail today. "Uhh.. ehh..ok" is my sleepy response. I had not even heard of the place but sure, why not? Situated about 50km from Shimla, Chail is a hiker's delight. That's a different thing that we did no hiking there. But still, that's pretty much the only thing one should go there for because there is nothing there apart from hiking, despite what the brochures tell you. Chail does have a gossip lover's history though. 


Once upon a time in 1891, Shimla was the summer capital of the British in India and Bhupinder Singh, the Maharaja of Patiala had a flirtatious reputation. His heart was captivated by the daughter of Lord Kitchener, the Viceroy. Now Shimla has only one touristy road which is the Mall road. One fine evening, when she was taking a stroll at Mall road, the Maharaja either kidnapped her or eloped with her. The versions differ but that's not the point of the story. Elopement has been a standard Indian tradition which has gained approval from the Gods themselves. 
Clearly, Viceroy Kitchener was not very favourable towards the whole concept. He heard about this and was outraged. He banished Bhupinder Singh from Shimla. Since then, that spot, which is the highest point on the Mall road, has been bestowed with the name Scandal Point (no surprises there). Statue of Lala Lajpat Rai has been erected afterward here for some god-forsaken road. Still, Scandal Point is the hub of Shimla's social life. Tourists and locals lounge here in the sunshine, eat nuts and gossip merrily. Someone speaks from experience -
"The transmitters of gossip are ever at work and savory and unsavory secrets of our society are flashed to the uttermost limits of Simla with all the speed of wireless."

Now, the Maharaja was furious about his banishment. He decided to build a summer capital all for himself and so he decided upon the panoramic town of Chail which is also on a hill decidedly higher than Shimla.  And this is where we decided to go.
The much spoken about Maharaja's palace is a tourist bluff. There is a Rs.100 fee at the entrance of the uphill road and there's absolutely nothing there to see in the palace or around unless you book a room in the palace-converted-resort. People reach there, enter the palace hall, where there's nothing, and go like - "Alright. What next?" Haha! Gotcha! There's no next. The spread out gardens look pale in comparison with the lush hiking trails all around the place. The frustrated tourist then decides to eat at the restaurant there to extract some value for money. Sadly, the food ruins the mood further. Thankfully, we were forewarned by Ma (who has had many trips here) and avoided this debacle. 

Chail is home to the highest cricket ground in the world. The highest cricket ground in the world looks like this with the sporty monkeys practicing their strutting skills.

Cricket ground at Chail with the monkey

Now, we march on to 'Kali ka tibba', a name which I found risible, which is a temple on top of a hill. Constructed only 6 years ago, it's one of the cleanest and minimalist temples I have ever seen. It is also very environment friendly with solar panels installed all around for water heating and street lights. 

The Solar Panels at Kali ka Tibba

We did miss out on hiking through brilliant trails which we passed along. Someday, someday...

Rollercoaster

Occasionally, we must keep doing things like this to reaffirm our belief in the awesomeness of our lives. - I say to Siddhesh sitting along the banks of Ganga after an exhilarating day.  'Rollercoaster' is the name of one of the rapids in Ganga. Other names include 'Sweet Sixteen' and 'Double Trouble'. We went through all :)

There were 7 of us there. After our first 3 eventful, transformational and intense months with our bunch of kids Suvidhi, Jessica, Anushka, Siddhesh and I really needed this break and we were out there in Rishikesh.

We camped along the beachy bank of Ganga. Toilets were a decent trek away and the urge was resisted till it was possible.
Tents, beds, beach volleyball and pretty good food - yes.
Sunshine - Err... Turns out that we were on the wrong side of the river. Camp 'Aayesha' opposite us was pretty sunny all the time. Stupid camp 'Aayesha'! Humph.

Rafting was an experience in itself. Tumultuous rapids and freezing waves hitting you in the face. The chance to lean over in the front and look ahead at the next oncoming wave was super.  We overcame grade I, II and III rapids. Then we did the 'Body Surf' which is the act of jumping out of the raft into the river.
Jumping into the icy water and floating around - fun.
Frozen feet, bruised fingers because of holding on to the rope on the raft - not so much.

Our rafting came to an end and we parked ourselves near the site of the 'Cliffjump' - jumping off a 20 foot cliff into the river. There was a maggiwala  there.
The sight of maggi at the end of the rafting session - mouthwatering.
Realizing that we don't have the money to pay - not the greatest feeling.

On seeing people jump, my new-experience-seeking-mind thought (as usual) - let's do this! 

The desire to jump of the 20 foot cliff into the cold water - adventurous. 

Freaking out (as usual) on reaching the top and looking downward - not so much. 

However, I did jump, primarily because of the organizer asking me to hurry up as there was a queue behind.  Split second after jumping I was - "Aaaaaaaaagghhhhhhhhh. Why in the world did I do this?" I was scared. I am sure my internal organs were not in their right place. Then I hit water. Definitely wasn't the most graceful jump or impact. 

All 7 of us jumped. Jessica overcame her fear of heights and jumped twice. The image of Anushka flying in space as she jumped (pushed actually) will never be forgotten. Neither will her swollen face.

Other assorted events that made up the thalo
Overhearing creepy sardarji's incessant phone conversation with his girlfriend - Amusing.
Watching him pose for (supposed) Kingfisher calender - not so much.

Chatting out in the cold with Siddesh and Suvidhi late into the night - Great.
Creepy, tip-desiring caretaker following us in the night - not so much.

The next morning, we decided to use the local transport to reach the bus stand.
Hitching a ride in the back of a truck - perfect way to sign off the adventure trip (or so it seemed).
The noise, jolts and bumps - could have been done without :)

Day of water and fish

Incessant rains in the city forced even the trains to come to a halt in the city today. This came as a surprise news to me early in the morning. How will my co-teacher reach the school came to my mind immediately? After speaking to him, realized that he was fighting his way through such pretty constraints.

Alright, back to correcting papers. These were Math papers which hadn't been xeroxed properly and given to the kids. It was difficult to make out anything that was written on the papers. Sigh. A lot of time had been spent running around during that exam helping the kids read the question. When I entered the data into the tracker, realized that achievement on word problems was a brilliant 17%. Such a joyous moment for any teacher. They weren't the easiest problems on the planet but still. Just shows that there's a long way to go with the class.

Just as I was keeping the papers away, I heard a resounding crack behind me. I turn around and there's water gushing out from the fish tank and my feet are wet. The glass wall has given way. Ah yes, we have a fish tank in our house. Even when we didn't have drinking water, we had the fish tank courtesy our weirdo landlord. There are 3 huge fishes in a big fish tank in our hall. They are grumpy looking and apparently cost Rs.80 grand a pair. According to our voodoo loving landlady, they are auspicious and react to the mood swings of the landlord and house environment. They are supposed to change color when someone's sick in the house or when there's fighting in the house.

So clearly, today they realized the flooding outside in the city and decided that their own hall needs to be flooded. Within a minute, our drawing room was pool of water with mattresses and bags hurriedly removed. I spent the next 30 minutes holding the glass wall tightly so that water wouldn't gush out. I dialed, people came and things happened. Fish were to be transferred into a water drum. They clearly didn't like the idea. There was minute when we had a giant fish flapping around on our floor. Such a life-changing moment. I burst into laughter into the ridiculousness of it all. Here I was, soaked, arms aching, ankle deep in water and trying to save these grumpy, priceless fish that we wanted to get rid of. Such are the joys of living.

Managed to get myself to school in time. Spent the day explaining the social studies paper to the kids. When I was exhausted, went with a religious fanaticism to a leadership forum in the downpour. Was pretty soaked by the time I reached there. On the way back, waded through ankle deep water clogged roads.
Back home, a smile appears on the lips when I think about the day gone by. Any shortage of water in my life has been compensated for. Not much time to muse more. Work needs to be done for parent-teacher meeting and other plans need to be put in place.

Choice - Dance and go places

The institute has been quite an experience. I came here with an open mind at the beginning of a journey. On our first day, this song was played to us. It struck such a chord with the choice and the journey ahead.
Lines I like from "I hope you Dance" -

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances
But they're worth taking
Lovin' might be a mistake
But it's worth making
Don't let some hell bent heart
Leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out
Reconsider
Give the heavens above
More than just a passing glance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance

..Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance


Another is a poem by Dr.Seuss called "Oh! The places you'll go!". The first part is lovely.

Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You’re off to Great Places!
You’re off and away!

You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where to go.

You’ll look up and down streets. Look’em over with care. About some you will say, “I don’t choose to go there.” With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet, you’re too smart to go down a not-so-good street.

And you may not find any you’ll want to go down. In that case, of course, you’ll head straight out of town. It’s opener there in the wide open air.

Out there things can happen and frequently do to people as brainy and footsy as you.

And when things start to happen, don’t worry. Don’t stew. Just go right along. You’ll start happening too.
Oh! The Places You’ll Go!

I had my reasons for coming here. I never looked upon it as a service or giving back. I felt thinking about it like that undermined my choice. It made it seem like I was personally not gaining that much as I should/would from other places.
Of course, I chose this because I believed I would gain much from here. However, that doesn't mean that I can't think of it as a service. What's so strange about doing service for one's country? Is it not a purpose in itself? Does personal growth need to be disconnected from it?

There are two people who I am going to quote here -
At our opening ceremony (which was bloody brilliant by the way), Shashank (a 2010 fellow) gave a speech. He had joined NDA but had to leave because of the injury hhe sustained during training. Thereafter, a few years hence, he was working in US of A, the land of dreams when he saw a Teach for India advertisement. That's it. He saw it. There was an India map on it. He chose. He told Shaheen that the reason he chose TFI was because it had the colourful India map on it. He is proud to say - "I teach FOR INDIA."

A friend is the second person. Many companies came to our campus for pre-placement presentations. He said - "There are so many of them and their names consist of 'Boston', 'Suisse', 'Deutsche', 'Japan', 'America' and the like. I thought, why am I working there?" It made me smile. It made me think.
I was born in India. I lived in India. My father spent his life in the Indian Army. I studied in Indian Institute of Technology. And now, I Teach FOR India.

Teach for India Adventure - The Beginning

I am almost about to give up on writing about my experiences at the Teach for India (TFI) Training Institute. Initially, I had the plan to blog a little bit after everyday. The plan changed after my first 3 days to after my first week. The titles have been changed from "First day" to "Early days" to the more general "The beginning". Finally, after 15 days of training, this post should see the light of the day. The thoughts are neither in order or fully developed. Events after the first week in later posts.

First Few Days
In the first few days at the institute, there was so much happening all the time that there was no time at all to think and absorb. A bunch of new people to meet, activities to do and sessions to attend. I have been on 5-6 hours of sleep since joining, which is unbelievable for me as people who know me would know.

In my previous post, I mentioned my motivations for TFI. I had written "I honestly think I have picked up the coolest job on campus." That was before joining TFI. Now I have and... So far, every hour that has passed, every person that I have met (especially every staff member) has substantiated that belief. The energy around me is amazing. When we arrived at the institute, there were some staff members near the parking area cheering our arrival. Seriously. The humility and openness of the staff is humbling. All our welcome speeches by Shaheen (founder and CEO), Maureen (Director-Training) and other senior staff started with how humbled they are to address the 2011 batch. Wow! The effort they take to interact with all of us and eliminate the power distance. They felt bad when they hadn't all of our 100+ names already.

There is excitement, fun and spontaneity. At the end of a session one night, the whole cohort broke out into an impromptu dance. Our sessions are super enjoyable. In every session, we do plenty of chants, exercises, drum-rolls and finger clicking. We throw around balls in the huge classroom. The efforts to build teamwork, collaboration, belief and optimism have borne fruits. In our respective PM (Program Manager) groups, we have shared our deep and difficult life stories with people we have known only for 2-3 days. As a result, our group is so much closer.
One fine day, we were divided into groups and thrown out somewhere in the city to earn Rs.25 per person. Teamwork and optimism was showcased there. My discomfort and slight skepticism was overcome when I saw a bunch of co-fellows just going out there and pressing clothes and washing cars. That night, we performed a skit and injected humour into the experience.
One phrase that has entered our vocabulary is 'sense of possibility.' I don't think that it was epitomized more when we saw the kids from an Akanksha school. They had studied 11 years under Anjali didi and came from very poor and difficult backgrounds. Their English fluency was astonishing. Even more jaw-dropping was their confidence and their dreams. They spoke about themselves, their families, their transformation, their didi and the change that they'll bring. I think all of us learnt a lot from that session. What we also learnt were some cool dance moves. All of us danced to the tunes of one of the girls, who is a choreographer. :)

P.S - The food is excellent. *slurp*

Choices - Teach for India

This post appears after months of procrastination. Time has passed and various thoughts have come and gone. Some have stuck around and matured. This will probably prevent this post from being a tirade or mocking and critical of people with a certain mind-set.

For the past few months, I have been asked repeatedly about my motivations for joining Teach for India(TFI). Some people have been more disturbed and surprised than others. Some have stated their presumptions for my choice without hearing my response. Questions have been raised on the purpose of my education at IIT. It might have been understandable to some extent if the concern was about not pursuing an engineering job, which is supposed to be my prime proficiency after 5 years. However, the angst is about not earning as much money as I possibly can. Apparently, for a lot of people, the objective of getting into IIT is to earn truckloads of money later. To borrow a phrase from Liam Neeson’s character in 'Taken', apparently, bank balance is the scale used for dick measuring.

Any such basic interaction with Boring Lamesauce(BL) goes like this:
BL: What are you doing after IIT?
Me: Joining Teach for India. (Further explanation required sometimes) It’s a NGO and I’ll be joining as a teacher.

BL: OH! Accha! (Surprised, curious look) So, What after TFI?
Me: I don’t know. Dekhte hain (Let’s see).

BL: Plans for MBA and all huh?
*Presumption* - This guy is deviating from the 'right' path because he believes that by going off and doing this for 2 years, he can fall back into the right path better!

Me: ehn. (Shaking head dismissively) No intention to do MBA as of now. Sometimes followed by a short monologue that I find a MBA pointless, leaving BL confounded.
*Thought* - I feel that most people want to hear that I aim to get into Harvard, ISB or other such prestigious B-school. Some are so disturbed that they ask repeatedly about what are the TFI fellow’s statistics of getting B-school admits. Why would someone do this? Sometimes, I just feel like saying – yes, I am in it for the Harvard and McKinsey – so as to put them out of their misery of having their beliefs shaken. To be fair, TFI does its fair share of marketing its ties with Harvard, Mckinsey and ISB. Again, that's something that I am not really a fan of.

BL: Ah! I didn’t think that you were into social service. It’s great that you have chosen to serve the nation.
Me: *rolling eyes and sighing* I am not really into social service. It just sounds like a really cool job.
BL gives up on this conversation. Win!

On a serious note, I was actually considering studying something further in Europe but, on introspection, I realized that my motivations were probably not what they should be and seemed like extending adolescence further. After that, I decided to join TFI instead of the 'regular' jobs. So why am I doing TFI? This wonderful post by Ankita, an Indicorps member from Florida working in slums in Chandigarh, gives words to a lot of my thoughts.
I feel downright uncomfortable when family and friends (and sometimes strangers) praise me for the sacrifices I'm making this year.

One pertinent question taking only the current lifestyle into account is, what am I really giving up in these other jobs?
A chance to spend all 5 days in a cubicle in front of a computer? Making PowerPoints all day so that I can have more money to spend without any care? Bitching about my work with my colleagues and friends while getting drunk on a Saturday night in an upscale bar? I am not really a fan of that lifestyle. A lot of people are and they are welcome to that choice. It’s not for me. I don't imagine my 20s to be spent that way.

I honestly think I have picked up the coolest job on campus. Fine, I may not be getting as much money as I could have in trade for my prestigious degree and blown-up resume. TFI may not be the most comfortable, but then, that’s something that comes with adventure. I may not earn a lot, but then I’ll learn to budget and live off a modest salary in a city like Mumbai. Instead of insulating myself from certain socio-economic strata of society, I would be interacting with them and learning many things in the process. I will be emotionally invested in my work as it's almost impossible to be uninvolved with kids.

I do have certain objectives in mind too as I take it up. It's just that mine are different. I hope that, in the time to come, I will be able to agree, at least to some degree, with Ankita and this.

Throughout the day I get to learn. I learn how to form relationships with people from all strata of society. I learn how to cook food... I learn the boundaries of my patience, and the depth of my love. ... others tell me that my efforts are misguided, ridiculous and extreme. They say I can do service without living simply, or challenging my needs. ..The truth is, in my everyday life here, I don't feel like I've lost anything. When I really want something, I have it and enjoy. But the wanting is much less, and the enjoying is much more

"I have learnt to be more humble, more accepting of differences and diversity, learnt to offer respect to people, their views, opinions and ideas more than before. Though I have had these values in varying levels (mostly acquired from my Mother and from other life experiences), I am discovering a new level of humility, integrity, Empathy, sense of possibility, resourcefulness, teamwork, critical thinking and reflection at Teach For India."

I look forward to the intensity of the experience; to the personal transformation of becoming more patient, loving and forgiving; to learning to appreciate what my parents do for me every day and hopefully, provide a positive contribution to the lives of children I am given responsibility for.

Really, I am very comfortable with not knowing right now what my whole life has in store. I don’t feel the need to plan for the next 5-6 years of my life or have a fixed goal or path. I somehow like the adventure and lack of surety. I like the fact that I can roam for 4 days in Paris without a map or a plan and have the time of my life. As my friends and authorities (like the Police) all over the world can testify, I have a penchant for landing up in situations that I am ill-prepared for. Resourcefulness and luck have so far managed to carry me through without severe damages and plenty of stories to tell. Same is the case with this. It might be a 'less safe' choice but then, what’s the fun in being safe. TFI might be everything that I ever wanted or it might be unlike anything that I imagine or want it to be. But then, does everything in life turn out the way we think them to? I don’t have much to lose in these two years at 22.

Jeff Bezos, in his speech, asks:

- Will inertia be your guide, or will you follow your passions?

- Will you follow dogma, or will you be original?

- Will you choose a life of ease, or a life of service and adventure?

- Will you wilt under criticism, or will you follow your convictions?

- Will you bluff it out when you're wrong, or will you apologize?

- Will you guard your heart against rejection, or will you act when you fall in love?

- Will you play it safe, or will you be a little bit swashbuckling?

- Will you be a cynic, or will you be a builder?

At whichever point I want to look back at my life, I hope that my responses are leaning towards the second part of these questions. As he says towards the end, I want to build myself a great story which I can tell myself. Will my character dictate the plot or am I supposed to just fit into the plot assumed for me? Well, we are our choices. This is mine.

P.S: If you have strong feelings of pity, benevolence, admiration or righteousness, you are most welcome to contribute to my traveler fund. As a symbol of gratitude, I promise to regale you with my stories if you so desire. :) Speaking from past experiences, they are quite something.